The last day

It was such a strange day today. Not at all as I’d expected for my last working day of corporate life. Lockdown and remote working have changed the dynamic of these things so much that days like today just don’t seem real somehow.

It wasn’t a hugely busy day.

My PA had cleared my diary of just about all but the team goodbye meetings, which I did remotely via Zoom. It was a day of thanks, remembrances and generosity of spirit.

And sadness.

I can’t quite get my head around the fact that from tomorrow I don’t need to worry about work budgets, people development, recruitment, resourcing, major incidents, steering committees, security boards, global forums, projects and a hundred other things that have previously consumed my waking hours.

I just need to breathe. Maybe have a leisurely breakfast. Maybe not get dressed until I feel like it.

I can focus on the planning and packing for our croft move.

It’s the beginning of the real adventure.

It feels unreal.

Skye Legends

I’ve been reading this wonderful little book over the last weekend, in between sorting out cupboards and packing for the island. I have to confess to more tea and reading than actual packing…

It was written in 1952 by a lady called Otta Swire who loved the island and who collected its folktales as she travelled.

It does a complete circuit of the island, stretching out into each winged peninsula and recording the tales and legends heard in each village. Some of them are Celtic, stretching back into prehistory, some Nordic, some medieval ;- all fascinating.

It’s a fabulously rich source of the most amazing stories, and for those that don’t know the island well, a superb introduction to the differences between the areas. It’s true that the nature, feel and landscape of each of the peninsulas of Skye are all very different, and Otta Swire captures this uniqueness beautifully.

I laughed out loud and ended up recounting several of them to husband at various points over the weekend, always a good sign that I’m enjoying a book.

For me personally it’s important to know something of both the history and the folklore of the area that you live in, and Skye is deeply steeped in both. I think that learning the local lore binds you more closely to the land, gifting you the insight and the experiences that shaped those that lived before you.

Who knew for example that a local lochan was once said to host a magical water horse, that a bay less than a mile away from the croft sports the name “The Bay of the Forsaken Ones” or that the legend surrounding Castle Dunscaith includes the tragic tale of a wife who killed and fed her children to her cruel husband then threw herself to her death onto the rocks from a castle window?

Black cats feature heavily in the local folklore, as do blue men, kilted warriors, strange beasts such as water horses and the walrus….

It’s all part of the magic of this incredible place – dark, brooding, mysterious, sometimes grim, and very close to faery and the otherworld.

Perfect for dark evenings sitting around the fire and tale-telling over a glass or two of the local Talisker.

The best seat by the fire is always reserved for the Story Teller.

Leaving for a new life

I’m in my last three weeks at work now before leaving corporate life forever. Even writing that down feels incredibly final after thirty plus years of working!

It’s a bitter-sweet feeling. I’ve worked as an IT Director/CIO for twenty years now, and have never done anything else other than technology and change.

I’ve been privileged to work for some amazing companies during this time.

What’s kept me going all this time has been working within creative media companies, music and book publishing especially, over the last fifteen years. When you love the product that your company produces, and you’re working with like-minded people, it’s easy to stay motivated. Music, art and books have always been my passion.

Having said that, it’s time to hang up the business suit. Metaphorically speaking – it’s a very long time since I actually wore a business suit 😊.

Increasingly over the last ten years I’ve felt a growing sense of weariness with the battle for technology to be recognised as core to company strategy, with long commutes and with long working hours. Husband feels the same. It’s eroding our sanity and increasingly feels empty of worth beyond the paycheck, however necessary that paycheck has been.

We’ve both decided to stop. I’m not going to use the word retirement, but it’s time for us to move to the next phase of our lives. I suspect that the next five years are going to be harder work than either of us have ever experienced, but we both relish the challenge.

For us it’s about a simpler life. Getting off the treadmill and doing something for ourselves. We will be much poorer in monetary terms, that’s a racing certainty, but we’ll be richer in other, more important ways. And we both feel the need for that so strongly.

Building our forever home is going to be hard. We’ll make mistakes, and our bodies aren’t used to daily physical labour. There’s going to be a lot of pain and frustration. But we think that the satisfaction of one day being able to sit in front of the log burner looking out at the view through our big windows over the Sound of Sleat and be able to say “we did this” is something worth striving for.

Nature and the land are also extremely important to us. The island is a beautiful place and we believe that planting trees can only enhance that for both local wildlife and our ourselves. This will be a legacy that we won’t perhaps see to its full maturity, but that which we hope the next generation will reap the benefits of.

We hope someone after us will love the little six acre patch of croft that we will create as much as we will. With its orchards, nut trees, willow beds, rowans, hawthorns and birch groves it will be a special place.

The other thing that I am so looking forward to is growing some of our own food. We’ll have vegetable beds, herb beds and berry beds. We will plant apple and hazelnut trees.

We’ll grow mushrooms on beech logs and keep chickens for their eggs. I will have the time to bake bread and to cook with what we grow and raise.

As well as this, I’m looking forward to spending time exploring my creative side, something that has been suppressed for most of my adult life. We’ve reserved one of the rooms in the house as a small studio for me to create in. I think that being surrounded by so much natural beauty will re-kindle my desire to create again. Whether that’s in clay, on canvas or in textiles I don’t yet know, but I can feel it there, quietly simmering under the surface of my respectability and exhaustion.

These last few months in London are a time of packing, planning and reflection, and of nervousness and anticipation at the magnitude of the change that we’re undertaking.

There’s much uncertainty in the coming years for all of us, but I do know that this is the right thing for us to do.

The Weaving

When we started on this journey I wanted to somehow commemorate the move to the island and build of our forever home.

I wanted to find a medium that was unique and significant to us in some way. Both husband and I love art, and I especially love textiles, so we decided to combine these two loves into the idea of a weaving.

Personally, my emotional response to the island has always been to do with its light, colours and textures.

The ever changing skies over the island exhibit colours that range from deep, brooding greys to clear, intense blues.

There is the translucent, steel-grey of the sea which changes to patches of iridescent aquamarine in the shallower waters.

And on the land, the textures of sand and pebbles on the local beaches and the ancient, speckled, rain-smoothed granite poking through the reeds on the croft.

I’ll create my own art in response to all of this one day, that’s something I’m quite sure of. I’m just not ready yet.

In the meantime, I’ve found a talented young weaver called Christy Balfour and I’ve commissioned her to weave us a piece for our new home.

It’s in a mixture of different weight wools and linens, texturally varied and interesting and in washed-out greys, sables, greens and aquas – sky, croft and sea colours.

It’s Christy’s own design, and quite abstract. It’s being woven now and should be ready in a few more months.

It will be the first piece of art that we mount on the walls next year, and having seen the plans and the early samples above, I think it’s going to be amazing.

Young artists find it incredibly tough to live on the proceeds of their work so I’m so pleased that we’ve been able to do this, especially during lockdown when things must have been especially challenging for small businesses.

And we will have a piece of work that has been created in direct response to our feelings about the island.

New beginnings

It’s lovely to see my two stepsons so excited about the next step in their lives. At 20 and 22 they’re both moving out of home this summer and have decided to take a flat together in Manchester.

They were up early yesterday looking at flats and planning next steps over mugs of tea in the kitchen.

I love that they can share living space and support each other whilst they finish university and find new work.

This has come at a good time for both of us. We’re in the process of downsizing possessions and packing up for the island, and many of the household things that we would have otherwise stored or sold can be passed on to them for their new flat, which will save them money.

It also means that the journey up to the Isle of Skye for visits is about four hours shorter than from London, which is a real bonus.

Whether the attraction of our remote cold, wet island and their wild-haired, welly-clad old folks will be enough to tempt them up to see us after the excitement of city living is entirely another matter! I hope so.

As I hope that the tranquility of our croft and the different pace of life there will provide a welcome haven for them from the madness of modern city dwelling whenever they need it.

New lives and new beginnings for all of us.

This is what life is all about.

❤️