Posted on by Lesley

Into the world again

We’ve been visiting family this past week.

We don’t get off the island very much these days, and being back in the world again, or at least the other world, seems very strange.

Yesterday we decided to try and do what normal people do and go shopping whilst close to a metropolis. We both needed boots/shoes and thought it would be easier to try them on physically than buy over the internet and have to return them if they didn’t fit.

So off we went to an outlet retail park.

It was a dispiriting experience and I was reminded immediately of why we’d chosen a different life, and how badly suited or prepared I was for re-entry into the “normal” world.

The retail outlet was full of cheap perfume, tinny-sounding background music and reduced goods. I absolutely hated it.

Hugh managed to find what he needed. I did not.

We traipsed from shop to shop, all happiness and life force draining slowly but steadily with each place that we visited.

After much searching, in desperation I did try a pair of ankle boots, but they wouldn’t do up and I left feeling dismayed that I was somehow too large now even for a pair of boots. I felt unworthy and embarrassed.

And I swore to myself that it was the last time that I would go “normal” shopping ever again.

Back to the anonymity of the internet and our little croft, I guess. I’m no longer a good fit for the wider world. I feel that I should scurry home to our quiet place and hide from judgemental eyes. I’m not sure that I want to leave again.

I feel a bit sad and emotional.

7 Replies to “Into the world again”

  1. Do not ever feel sad, there are many that would trade places with you at a drop of a hat, bit when push comes to shove, have or find an excuse not to do so.

    Your island is a sanctuary, and thanks to modern technology, are able to get what you need, when you need, even if it may take a day or two longer to arrive.

    R

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  2. Even as a child, I never fit in to “normal”.

    In seeing what “normal” is, I saw that as a positive, rather than a negative. I still do.

    This is a strength, not a weakness! Embrace it!

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  3. Ohh yes, I understand that feeling. The ‘normal’ world seems so alien from our lives here too. I go to work and home again, buying most things online and stopping at the post office to pick up packages. We rarely stray far from our set paths, and it is blissful to spend our days in the peace we have created, not feeling the need to seek wider approval from the world.

    Also, boots never fit me either, my legs are too big.

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